The Ladies' Room

Title: Parallel Motion (Or: Fate, Crunchy Cheetos, and a Bunch of Other Things Chris Pine Didn't Believe In)
Author: Thalia :D (thalialunacy)
Artist: karneol_vision
Fandom: Star Trek (reboot) cast RPF
Pairing: Chris Pine / Karl Urban



Art Master Post
(The art has been integrated into the story (and contains pretty significant spoilers), but you should go there and give props for the amazing work.)

Summary:

In a world with a happily secret, slightly oversexed, Hollywood-centered underbelly of werewolves, Chris Pine is a reluctant hipster alpha just trying to make a name for himself and still maintain the freedom to flip off the paps and wear however many white t-shirts he wants. He has no interest in being weighed down by centuries of tradition and the responsibilities of his station; he just wants to get laid.

Then he meets Karl Urban, and finds out all the lore he never believed is actually true--there is such a thing as a perfect mate. The only hitch? This one's married. Oh, and human.

Rating: NC-17, yar
Length: 23K
Warnings: Werewolves! Knotting! Mpreg! Mangst! Copious amounts of swearing, including the (other) f-word. Reference to off-screen suicide of a minor character. I played with the trope, and the timeline. But, my dear friends, if you have any interest at all, or any faith in me, I suggest you take my hand and jump in. The water is surprisingly nice, and the boys are very pretty. XB
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, and do not claim to. Obviously fictional content is 100% fictional, and I mean no disrespect. Please, please don’t sue me. And hey, don’t be hatin, we just like the fuckin.


Prologue | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Epilogue

PDF AVAILABLE HERE :D

Sources/Inspirations/Etc: Chasing Amy, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snatch, my friend Anne (may she rest in peace ♥), Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Emily Saliers, my BFF Ern, Dave Matthews Band, and, as always, Aaron Sorkin. Oh, and because I can, I’m calling this my ‘inexplicable technical jargon’ square on my trek_crackbingo card.

Thanks: First, chronologically speaking, to elucreh for leading me into J2, where this trope is popular and plentiful. Then to janice_lester, for encouraging cross-fandom trope experimentation (and for doing her own awesome take on it). She was also a heavy-hitter on the beta team, along with mrasaki, gingifere, and pslasher. The rest of my f’list was a great, great encouragement, despite (or perhaps because of) the madness contained herein. Special thanks to the Heterolifemate, ernthealmighty, who not only had to read about it but had to put up with real life talk about it nearly every day as well. And thanks to the mods of rpf_big_bang for putting it all together, and for being so fucking chill. So: Endless hearts, to all of you. Endless. ♥

Another one of my top five Urbines, this story is fucking awesome. It's so funny I burst into laughter several times while recording. (Which all got edited out, lol, no fear.) But it made me love Cho (ho shit, reading him was f-u-n FUN), and because of this story, I cannot see a bottle of Vitamin Water without grinning. XB

The recording's not perfect -- hahah yeah Kiwi accent is hard, okay, and some parts are too loud, and I misread some names and didn't realize it at the time and have I mentioned Audacity sucks? so it's stuck there for life. I'm totally mortified, but y'all're smart, you'll figure out who it's supposed to be. ^^ (Hint: this is a bottom!Karl story.) And a new winner came out of the 'surprisingly difficult phrases to say' competition: 'Chris finishes his sandwich.' I had to do it like five times.

Oh, and while I was willing to pretend to be Chris pretending to be Phil Collins, I did not attempt to pretend to be Lady Gaga. So here's the track: 'Love Games' by Lady Gaga.


Disco Stick (aka Karl Can't Dance or the Lady GaGa Chronicles)
by withthepilot
Chris/Karl NC-17
40:44

text here
mp3 here


ENJOY! :D ♥

NO ONE ACTUALLY FROM AUSTRALIA OR NEW ZEALAND IS ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO THIS, OKAY? OKAY.

(ETA because yes, I did the accents. Accent? Accent and a half? I tried to differentiate between the chick's and Karl's, but I am not that good. There's also singing. And giggles. Seriously this is the most masturbatory podfic ever; me reading my own Mary Sue lolol. But I had fun. :D)

In my defense, it was requested by more than one person. >.>

Found Your Writing on My Wall aka The Mary Sue
by... me.
Chris/OFC --> Chris/Karl
NC-17 (het & slash)
1hr 21min

text here
mp3 here

I still fucking hate Audacity. I probably should split this into two files, but... I don't know how. XB :sporks it:

Does Zach as Matchmaker ever get old? Please say no, or I'm going to have figure out another way to get Chris to read Karl his EPIC LOVE POEM TO KARL'S MANLY WRISTS.

You only wish I was joking. XB

ETA ALL CONTRIBUTIONS OF POEMS DEDICATED TO KARL URBAN BY CHRIS PINE ARE WELCOME. :bats eyelashes:

ETA² because I can't bring myself to spam everyone, lol: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE COMMENT FIC. A FICLET. IT'S 1200 WORDS AND KARL HASN'T EVEN SHOWN UP YET. WHAT THE SHIT.