The Ladies' Room

Star Trek 2009 was a big fucking deal for me, accidentally. Life is what happens when you're half-heartedly writing for six different tiny fandoms to procrastinate on schoolwork, so I went to see it the weekend it came out, but mostly on a whim: friends invited me and I'm vaguely a geek so I figured ok.

And I fell ~hard, yo. In that indescribable way that involves adrenaline, nausea, and maybe even some crying. Like those girls in the photos from the Beatles first tour in the US. I fell so hard I slid without protest into the fandom in a way I hadn't in the half decade since I'd slid mostly out of HP, which had been a complex and sometimes very hurtful period in my life.

The experience I then had in the Star Trek fandom was ~immense. As immense as HP, though in a different way. I was more grown up this time. At least a little. As were most of us, a lot of HP veterans who knew what buttons not to push. And for whatever reason, in Trek I was definitely more of a big deal. I met dozens of people, wrote thousands and thousands of words, read what seems like millions of awesome stories, and exchanged hundreds of comments, on both my fic and others'. It was my ~place.

All good things must end, of course, and I'm mostly not bitter about Tumblr and STID. I've accepted that some things are beyond my control, that things change, and that maybe I'll never be as involved in a fandom again. I've started writing original fiction to fill the hole and I'm okay with that, even though it's not quite the same. I miss the community but I have people in my life from it that I will never, ever let go of. (Much to their chagrin I'm sure. ;) )

My memories of it are fond, is what I'm saying. And my love for it has remained. Jim and Bones still stir me, hearing the French horn rip from the beginning of it all still makes me grin even if I'm in the foulest of moods. It is a good, if not often visited, place in me.

Star Trek Beyond was 2 hours spent exactly in that place. That's the best way I can describe it. From the opening to the very last note, and every spinny-camera one-liner in between, I was home.

I'd list things in particular, but where do I even fucking start?



My heart.

'Fandom is a consistent juxtaposition of disappointing cruelty and heartwarming acceptance.'

eschatologies, who is (and has been as long as I've known her, which, as she pointed out in the same conversation, has been eight years) one of the wisest people I've ever been around, said that a couple days ago, when I lamented the vitriol that's been aimed at Star Trek Into Darkness. A movie which, keep in mind, I didn't even really like. Enjoyed, yes. Felt true affection for? Not even close.

But not for the reasons you'd think.

---

Taylor hadn't seen me since Wednesday, before I saw the movie. "So," he said today as soon as our boss had left and we had a moment, "will I like it?"

"It's JJ Abrams," I said with a shrug. "It's a good movie."

Taylor is the biggest LOST fan I've met outside of fandom, so he nodded. And he knows me pretty well, so: "But?"

I really respect Taylor's intelligence, and it's mutual. And explaining why I didn't like the movie without spoiling it is really quite difficult. So I had to contemplate my words. "The 2009 movie was so phenomenal because it felt like it went outside the scope of the genre. It wasn't just a great science fiction movie; it was a great movie. It blew the boundaries out of the water."

"Yeah, agreed."

"And this one... didn't."

He tilted his head. "And why do a remake otherwise? What's it for?"

And it's true; that's what a reboot, retake, remake, performance of a classic should be. It isn't, most of the time, because it's bloody hard (here's where I avoid going on a tangent about performance art and classical music), but it's the goal. We update the special effects (obvs). We update the acting (because acting styles themselves change with time). We update the plots (eg 3:10 to Yuma, Oceans Eleven, etc). We update the politics & philosophies (eg Nolan's Batman trilogy). We do whatever it takes to take something we love and we make it relevant again, so new people will love it as much as we do.

Unless you're the writers of STID, in which case, I honestly think, you're too excited about getting to write something you love in a way you want to write it. They wrote fanfiction, not new material, and while I respect that as an idea (obvs), I wish somebody had stopped them before it went to production. Because it wasn't a bad movie, by any means. But it feels to me--and to many of us, it seems--that it could've been so much more.

And the production team spent years, literally, convincing us it would be more, cagily promising mystery and surprises and then delivering exactly none of either. Or, rather, the only mystery was their reticence and the only surprise was their deception. (Karl and his fucking Gary Mitchell comment. I have never before wanted to punch him in the face.) I feel dumb now, because I honestly was convinced it would be more than a remake of a movie I never liked in the first place.

Because there's the other part: It was a great genre film, a blow em up, one liners r us, mentor dies to test the hero, bad guys are psycho, ooh space is pretty, SCIENCE FICTION IS BADASS movie. Well, I hate to break it to y'all, but the only sci-fi movies I've ever legitimately liked (note how I did not say 'enjoyed') were The Matrix-es, and The Fifth Element. (And ST:XI, but that goes without saying.) The rest of them--and 98% of Doctor Who episodes--make me cringe. I love geek culture, but geek canon not so much. So cheesy, so awful, so silly, SO CHEESY OMFG. Fire the this and cold fusion that and space suits and wet suits and I only like it if it winks at the camera or has heavy religious allegory what i'm predictable okay. This movie did not even so much as blink at the damn camera. I was bored by the end, and incredibly turned off by all the gratuitous TOS cutaways (sexism, ethnocentrism, racism, Kirk/Spock...ism) because, again, my expectations were wildly different.

Which is my fault, in the end, is my point. Yes, the production team did their damndest to convince us it was going to be mind-blowing. But I think if I were really a Trek fan, really a science fiction fan, it would've at least been a really, really good time.

TL;DR comparison is the thief of joy, as a very wise jazzy_peaches said to me, about something completely unrelated. I'm relatively certain I'll be interested in watching it again, because I do love the characters (um, except Kirk, but that's personal, not professional), and watching Uhura speak Klingon and Benedict go all Wachowski was a pretty good ten minutes, but that day is probably far away and going to involve drinking every time something makes me facepalm.

You're welcome to join me. Point out to me the good stuff. Lovingly make fun of the bad stuff. Arrange dolls in highly suggestive positions and talk about Chris Pine's clothes. Have a good ole fangirly time.


I'll make sure to have hangover hypos ready the next day.

[eta opened the entry now that the author has heard the file and approved]

So, despite hating Audacity with a fucking passion, podfic happened today. All I can figure out how to do is record the whole thing then delete the bad bits, not re-do anything, so it's not perfect (there are at least three words I should've looked up beforehand, lol; I'll leave you to figure out which ones and oh god please ignore the accents), but it's... not bad.

The story is one of my top five Urbines. It just feels so real, and yet romantic. It's sexy, heartfelt, funny, and KARL. KARL KARL KARL.

The Shapes a Bright Container Can Contain
by blcwriter
Trek reboot RPS: Chris Pine/Karl Urban
NC-17, 35:26

text here
mp3 here

Man, reading porn aloud is a whole new ballgame. lolol Are there... places I should cross-post this? Besides pinecity, because I'm a mod there so pffft I do what I want. XB I AM NEWB. HALP.