They'll name a city after us / And later say it's all our fault

[thalialunacy2]

'Fandom is a consistent juxtaposition of disappointing cruelty and heartwarming acceptance.'

eschatologies, who is (and has been as long as I've known her, which, as she pointed out in the same conversation, has been eight years) one of the wisest people I've ever been around, said that a couple days ago, when I lamented the vitriol that's been aimed at Star Trek Into Darkness. A movie which, keep in mind, I didn't even really like. Enjoyed, yes. Felt true affection for? Not even close.

But not for the reasons you'd think.

---

Taylor hadn't seen me since Wednesday, before I saw the movie. "So," he said today as soon as our boss had left and we had a moment, "will I like it?"

"It's JJ Abrams," I said with a shrug. "It's a good movie."

Taylor is the biggest LOST fan I've met outside of fandom, so he nodded. And he knows me pretty well, so: "But?"

I really respect Taylor's intelligence, and it's mutual. And explaining why I didn't like the movie without spoiling it is really quite difficult. So I had to contemplate my words. "The 2009 movie was so phenomenal because it felt like it went outside the scope of the genre. It wasn't just a great science fiction movie; it was a great movie. It blew the boundaries out of the water."

"Yeah, agreed."

"And this one... didn't."

He tilted his head. "And why do a remake otherwise? What's it for?"

And it's true; that's what a reboot, retake, remake, performance of a classic should be. It isn't, most of the time, because it's bloody hard (here's where I avoid going on a tangent about performance art and classical music), but it's the goal. We update the special effects (obvs). We update the acting (because acting styles themselves change with time). We update the plots (eg 3:10 to Yuma, Oceans Eleven, etc). We update the politics & philosophies (eg Nolan's Batman trilogy). We do whatever it takes to take something we love and we make it relevant again, so new people will love it as much as we do.

Unless you're the writers of STID, in which case, I honestly think, you're too excited about getting to write something you love in a way you want to write it. They wrote fanfiction, not new material, and while I respect that as an idea (obvs), I wish somebody had stopped them before it went to production. Because it wasn't a bad movie, by any means. But it feels to me--and to many of us, it seems--that it could've been so much more.

And the production team spent years, literally, convincing us it would be more, cagily promising mystery and surprises and then delivering exactly none of either. Or, rather, the only mystery was their reticence and the only surprise was their deception. (Karl and his fucking Gary Mitchell comment. I have never before wanted to punch him in the face.) I feel dumb now, because I honestly was convinced it would be more than a remake of a movie I never liked in the first place.

Because there's the other part: It was a great genre film, a blow em up, one liners r us, mentor dies to test the hero, bad guys are psycho, ooh space is pretty, SCIENCE FICTION IS BADASS movie. Well, I hate to break it to y'all, but the only sci-fi movies I've ever legitimately liked (note how I did not say 'enjoyed') were The Matrix-es, and The Fifth Element. (And ST:XI, but that goes without saying.) The rest of them--and 98% of Doctor Who episodes--make me cringe. I love geek culture, but geek canon not so much. So cheesy, so awful, so silly, SO CHEESY OMFG. Fire the this and cold fusion that and space suits and wet suits and I only like it if it winks at the camera or has heavy religious allegory what i'm predictable okay. This movie did not even so much as blink at the damn camera. I was bored by the end, and incredibly turned off by all the gratuitous TOS cutaways (sexism, ethnocentrism, racism, Kirk/Spock...ism) because, again, my expectations were wildly different.

Which is my fault, in the end, is my point. Yes, the production team did their damndest to convince us it was going to be mind-blowing. But I think if I were really a Trek fan, really a science fiction fan, it would've at least been a really, really good time.

TL;DR comparison is the thief of joy, as a very wise jazzy_peaches said to me, about something completely unrelated. I'm relatively certain I'll be interested in watching it again, because I do love the characters (um, except Kirk, but that's personal, not professional), and watching Uhura speak Klingon and Benedict go all Wachowski was a pretty good ten minutes, but that day is probably far away and going to involve drinking every time something makes me facepalm.

You're welcome to join me. Point out to me the good stuff. Lovingly make fun of the bad stuff. Arrange dolls in highly suggestive positions and talk about Chris Pine's clothes. Have a good ole fangirly time.


I'll make sure to have hangover hypos ready the next day.